I LOVE being your MOTHER

I wouldn't want anything more than being here with you as your MAMA. I will not apologize for not always being 100% NICE because I can't 😁,

BUT here's what I could promise.

- I will strive hard to  be someone you will look up to that means I will be a better version of myself everyday

- I will show to you that you cannot rely on your own abilities alone and that you have to call on God in all circumstances

- I will let you experience difficulty and let you find ways to cope with it 

- I will be quiet and still when you need me to. I will not nag when not needed. ( i will try)

- I am your safe place, come to me.

I will let you live independently in this LIFE.  I will not be over-hovering you but I will LINGER around you so that you know I am near.  Call on me and find comfort with my company.

I LOVE YOU my dearest daughters. 

OPEN my HEART and you will see HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME! 

( Chy & Ky in South Korea - April 2019)

and this write up

Relevant and concise. That is what I got from this writer. Daniel Wong.
A very good reminder to a mom like me who is in the rollercoaster ride. 
But I assure you, life is good. 
Don't be afraid of the responsibilities of Motherhood. Actually, it is beyond Amazing! 


Do you know a mom who’s stressed?

Or maybe you’re a stressed mom yourself?

I’ve worked with thousands of students over the years to help them become motivated, responsible and resilient.

As such, I get to interact with many parents on a daily basis too.

Most of these parents lead busy lives. They provide for their family, take care of their children, send their children to various classes and activities, and help their children with schoolwork.

This is on top of the other responsibilities they have to fulfill too!

I notice that the mothers I talk to are especially frustrated and stressed.

Why?

I’ve boiled it down to these 10 reasons:

1. They feel guilty. They feel as if they’re never doing enough for their children. They sometimes feel inadequate as a mother.

2. They compare themselves with other mothers. They see other mothers who seem to have everything figured out, and wonder why they don’t.

3. They strive for perfection. Instead of focusing on progress, they strive for perfection in their career, family life, etc. But perfection is never attainable, so they feel disappointed.

4. They have unresolved conflicts in their close relationships. They often have strained relationships with their children or spouse, which adds stress to their life.

5. They don’t take care of their own needs. They spend so much energy meeting the needs of others that they neglect their own physical and emotional needs.

6. They try too hard to control their circumstances. They feel uncomfortable when it seems that the situation is out of their control. As an instinctive response, they become more controlling.

7. They focus too much on what’s going wrong, rather than on what’s going right. Instead of concentrating on what they appreciate about their children, spouse and life, they concentrate on what needs to be changed or fixed.

8. They think they can have it all. They believe the message that mothers can have it all: career, family, social life, health, etc. But, in fact, no one can truly have it all, because choices always involve tradeoffs.

9. They worry too much about the future. They want the best for their children and family, so they often become anxious about the future.

10. They try to fix their children. When they see their children behaving in ways that aren’t ideal, they start nagging and reminding their children. But this rarely works, so they become even more frustrated.

Just to be clear, I'm not criticizing mothers! Mothers have a lot on their plates, and I greatly respect the work they do.

But it's definitely possible to be a happy, fulfilled and effective mom.

How do I know this?

Because I have a mom who's exactly like that!

written by Daniel Wong.

I've always wanted to be a Mom

There has been successive diseases the past days and all I wish and pray hard for is to get better.

A few strain of virus came to us at the end of winter and the beginning of Spring. We used to welcome spring with a sense of relief from cold, gloomy days but it was different this year.  The flu hit me big time, Chuck and Kylene got really sick mid-October. We found out about Kylene's surgery , it was just successive hit.

So, weekends without ailments are BIG Hoorah! It is Answered Prayer.  Heaven, Thank You!

We are back to being spontaneous and just living it to the fullest!

Let's start with some annoyance on Saturday with a text message saying you should respond to some emails urgently when it is not urgent at all ( cmon, Saturday morning ????)

I refuse...i refuse ...i refuse to live in that moment. We had some event to attend in the morning and running errands in the afternoon. And I can only afford to SMILE. But these moments are the times I look back and definitely told myself, to let go of annoyance because on Saturdays, they deserve the best of me.  I am 100% pure mama. And my children deserves it. They deserve the patient one, the mama that would be bothered at the tiniest details that seemed tiny to me but biggie to my children.


My Cheyenne. 
I am seeing bigger changes on her. Her mood, her choices and her being. I am not sure how many more years is she going to enjoy weekend with us. But I pray she will continue to join our adventures and not chose to be passive or boring or irritating.   She is going through some hormonal changes and I do understand that. I don't want to be controlling.  I want her to independent and self-reliant with the degree of self confidence required as she goes through the awkward years of adolescence.

My Kylene

She makes me giggle. High spirited little rascal who at this age keeps on making me smile. She has developed so many skills that make me wonder . She is 3 and has understood what things she could command from the family. Her smiles are the most beautiful in the morning! I can't resist!

My girls, you have no idea of the importance of your existence to my life.  You have fulfilled a dream for me .  I have always wanted to become a mother.  

I am not a perfect mom

When I saw this note in my child's bedroom , reality strikes me.  It was for me. Oh yeah, I have a feeling it was addressed to me.

So, I take the note as a reminder to be gentle with my Cheyenne. Forgive me darling if I am too pushy.  If you have looked at me with the impression of a perfectionist mom, I apologize. I actually wouldn't want you to be perfect.  I want you to make mistakes and keep learning. And NO--don't try to be perfect for you will never be.  Only through your mistakes that you learn and become a better person.

So ,relax----I want you to enjoy life to the fullest. If making mistakes is what it takes, then let it be.

I love you even your stupid mistakes will not change that.

REMINDER - I am not a perfect mom so maybe you need to remind me that sometimes :-)

You are my Kylene.

Remember, that on your second birthday, you woke up with much glee that you can't stop yourself posing like a downward facing dog.  A yoga enthusiast you are!

It wasn't easy coping up with you my love. You are such a handful but I am fine with such energy rather than the sickly Kylene we had the past months. Thank you, God, You completely healed my little one.  You're back to your normal self and now eating plenty like before. How these improvements made our life so happy and there are these facts you have to keep in mind ( sorry, mum's got plenty of assignments to you)

Your granny has special eyes on you. You are very pampered. Your grandma wants to impose some special discipline but your grandpa happily defies that. They do not want you to get hurt, suffer or any of those kind. Any little discomfort they wanted to take out from you. Let's pray that God will gift them with good health so they continue to join us in our future adventures!

Your dad wants to keep on holding you.  He wants you close which really works for me so I could have my 'me' time.   How you changed now? You used to be mama's only girl. I am soo glad you've build a special bond with dada now. See, how peaceful you sleep in dada's arms.

and how behaved  you were in the cruise on a lovely Saturday morning in Surfer's Paradise!

Ate Cheyenne is gentler around you. She even let you win in most games! She is a very good Ate to you. Be patient with her when she gets moody but most of the time, she lights up with you. Keep on bubbling her, compelling her to love life!

    

I've got to keep reminding myself that you are not that small baby anymore. You have a mind of your own and how quickly you have learned that I have to keep you in the loop now. I am so happy each time you understand the message I have wanted to put across. It does surprise me.

I am sorry my love of my limitation. Of days, that I do not understand your needs and wouldn't be able to address it. I ask God to sustain me, because He is the powerful Giver. And when your family is not close by, rest assured that someone is always there to LOVE you. 

how I felt so

ORGANIZED.
So, finally after looong months of wanting this done. I have ticked this. Oh, nothing major, i just needed to clean up my fridge for such a long time now.

and tada! done it first thing today. I felt so emancipated. That is the nicest thing that could happen when you are working from home. I have saved a good hour on commuting to work and diverting this energy to what is urgently needed.

Big Tick!

Speaking of organization. My life is never an example of one. I didn't think much of the things that happened to me now.  Like coming overseas to live is not , never in my dream radar. But there is one  thing clear to me what I would become when I grow up. I knew that I wanted to be a MOTHER. I nurtured this dream that I even thought I would not mind if I don't get a husband for as long as I become a mum. But then, life's finest gifts came with a bonus. And I am luckiest! Life would have been sad without You.

Thank you for the husband who patiently waits until I am mature enough to understand why I am meant to be a WIFE.

No, I won't change anything in our journey. Not one bit.

#mayForeverPramis.