and when your HEART knows

"when your heart knows , you can't stop it,  can't explain it,  you can only trust it."


when I married this man, I have no idea how our life would turn out.  I could recall, it was the stage that I am insecure , unsure, arrogant, my pretentious self.

I trusted with my whole heart that I love him but I wasn't ready to see his lows, his weakness against my insecurities, my expectations against his growth. There was a span when we were growing apart. Yes, slowly, the idea of separating from him eats me. I was so ready and sure to give him up and live my life alone! I cringe recalling those days, and I apologize for those dramas.

Fast forward-----our life now. I wouldn't exchange for anything. Our life after 13 years of marriage is indeed the only relationship in this lifetime that have rocked my LIFE in a good way. The children along the way made it even more meaningful but above all else, this man is my favorite person----genuinely, the best friend who makes this world worth living and who amidst all arguments and disagreements is a source of inspiration and strength. Always the better half.

Thank you for not giving up. Oh yes, thank you for despite seeing the ugly side of me, you've chosen to stick around.  You believed and therefore you flourished.

The after-math

Been a month since we took that flight to New Zealand. Life has full of surprises for us and this trip definitely exceeded expectations.  What a wonderful earth we lived! and NZ is so much blessed with the wonders of nature. I am in so much awe, every corner of that country talks to me about LIFE, THANKSGIVING and just to stand still, enjoy moments, breathing the fresh air, taking it all IN!

Life in its purest form. A tree representing hope amidst the changes of the LAKE. It remained beautiful in the low tides. And so does life. This photo represents hope and gratitude of anything that happened, could possibly happen and that innate characteristic of positivity to shine through. LIFE can be turbulent sometimes, it will relentlessly test our aptitude---but the good news is , It is NEVER a RACE to achieve that best version of yourself and while doing so, don't forget to enjoy the MUSIC.

Lately, I have been really out of FOCUS. It is like, there are organization and re -org going through my mind, and not coming through NEAT. For some, they thrive on that, I just can't.  It is nailed in my tendency to be organized.    I can't think well when I go through this stage and it feels like I am only at mediocre of this endeavors I am pursuin'.  Anyway, will need to clean up some clogs and will keep it SIMPLE.  For now, i will take it easy. No stress, no drama. Just living the LIFE.

I have loads of photos from this trip but for now, maybe a snap of my second-born who is growing real FAST and really speaks her mind loudly now which is really funny.

Aussie! oi! oi! oi!

this one ...., to the books!
on the 16th of March 2017, we are finally citizens of Australia. A country that never occurred in my dream. I have never dreamt of working or staying abroad. Thought I would stay through in Pinas and be the Karen that I want my life to be. But GOD had bigger , bolder plans for me. Actually, all my life I tread through the waves of Ups and Downs keeping God in the center , always trusting him.

Oh, next in line --- PASSPORTS!
Cheyenne's school camp coincides with the oath taking ceremony and missed this event.  However, since she is a minor, Chuck accepted the certificate on her behalf.

and just like that, Autumn.

the weather is playing up , wet weekends , cold and hot that sometimes planning for it is a challenge.

BUT, i don't let it stop me from getting out with my kids amidst the fact that I can't drive and Chuck in most Saturdays are not available. Simple, do it on Sundays! Therefore, Saturdays for grocery shopping which I could do on my own and planning for the week's meal. Blah Blah Blah , the story of my weekends will never be OVER. Add to that the ironing and the playing with Kylene and the cleaning a messy place because , toddler. But, I don't mind how messy our place is----it actually is good that Kylene explores stuffs, and keep her interest with toys than gadgets.  Although , the bad mom in me would sometimes hope she stays a bit longer on ipad so that there is peace and quiet home on weekends, I tend to succeed sometimes and that is why, if I am lucky I could stay 3 hours in the kitchen.  Like last weekend. I have prepared 3 kinds of food, and marinated the chicken for Chuck's pack lunch. I love how productive  I was!

So, Sunday when it was supposed to be cold came very HOT HOT HOT even in Bilpin! It is the part in NSW where I was expecting it to be cooler.

and we were picking fresh apples supporting the local farmers and listening intently to their instructions when it comes to picking the fruits. Sadly though, a few comer ignored it and just did whatever they wanted in the farm not putting into consideration the hardwork of the owners. It annoys me . I like visiting farms and be one with the hands of the food I eat and I feel it when they are not respected at all!

That is supposed to be easy to follow. When a row has a 'Check' , then that is good to harvest. Even my 3-year old can follow that!

here's my happy folks! My sis, amidst her " busy" social life joined us today!
To tell you frankly, I am happy when her social life is active!

all i want is a Happy Life.
Amidst the odds, the uncertainties and the anything that comes in Between. (  how gorg my mom is, her lipstick is always on point)

in the yellow fields  of  Bilpin Spring Orchard.

i believe is the worst summer

2017 marks the worst summer ever! How worse? Never a week passes by without a temp that goes as high as 40 degrees! It is mercury rising! Like last weekend was awful. We insisted to visit the Blue Mountains, skipped the Echo Point ( popular among tourists and is accessible) and visited the vintage Leura village. I am charmed by its beauty and OMG! the weather up there in the mountains was absolutely cool. The town actually reminded me of Bowral ( Southern Highlands).

It is about an hour drive from our place which is not bad actually. Had lunch and just relaxed in this slow-paced region of NSW. Hubby told me he is getting old now that he actually appreciates less crowded places. I bet we both are.  Peace , quiet and nothing touristy. I don't even want to get into the hassle of queuing for this popular restaurant.  I couldn't be bothered! There are heaps to explore.

A few second after the car is parked is this lovely mural worth a photo. My mom too obligated to take this seriously.

even this restaurant we randomly stopped by at the corner of the village has its unique charm. My eyes were too quick to pick it up this 3d mural in the walls!

and this shop that the kids took seriously. Told me this should have been the first we visited! We spent $11, that was the budget.

and before heading home, we went to the sublime point look-out that is rarely visited until trip advisor got it published , thankfully!

and finally, the cheekiness of Kylene stands out!so adorbs though.

Roots.

I have ended this year with turmoil and despair of an incident that provoked me to act in full on emotion.  I remembered how the same surge of emotion happened to me 5 years ago while I was in Singapore.

I really wanted to fix my eyes on the culmination of the beautiful 2016 and the the promise of 2017 but I am glad the incident happened for it opened my eyes to basically my ROOTS.  How I was raised and that no matter where  you are in this world----it is not fine to see injustices happening in front of you and not doing anything about it. I have my non-negotiables.  I have done my share in this issue and I have considered this CLOSED. And I know the kind of people I should associate with----i cannot spend more time to this kind. NO, NEVER for you'll never know when they are going to bite back with the mindset they have, whoah! I have never been too critical on a friend like  this.

So----2017!!! We are going to be more passionate of what we believe in. We will be more GENEROUS, we are going to show more examples of KINDNESS,  JUSTICE and our world has no place for SELFISH bitches!


Anyway------------pause from all the nega emo here.  Focus on what matters.  Christmas and New Year that was.  Importantly,  F A M I L Y.

I didn't get a break from work, it feels like I was partying and yet working harder. At least I didn't get to deal with headaches from too much alcohol.  I was very sober! But I couldn't' wait to be in vacay mode again ( i want it soon please!!!)

Here' s to celebrating LIFE to the LIVED Choosing to be always GRATEFUL and  HAPPY no matter what!

That chaos after the gifts were opened! 

May the new year be filled with more memries', more blessings to enjoy and share with!

#BaquialSaletreroChristmas2016

Sorry, I can't get enough of our family photos. Where all of us are COMPLETE! Rarely happens!

PANADOL- FREE, finally!

So, for 10 days after her surgery, we were in pain killers.  Panadol plus Oxynorm ( the stronger version of it).  This surgery is something we didn't plan this year but willingly took on because of her very erratic sleeping patterns. She is snoring loudly and keeps on tossing and turning at night , finding the right position to go back to sleep. It breaks my heart. And couldn't wait to put an end of her suffering.

And there you go, we did her adenotonsillectomy and turbinate reduction on the 17th November with so much anxiety in my heart. I was very much concerned of her recovery, I was imagining it to be a painful process but fortunately, the worst didn't happen. She took her medicines ( pain killers and antibiotic) and eat normally.  She is my little champ! Amazing girl she is.

The fasting requirements.
She was scheduled at 11 am on Thursday, 17th of November.   She is required to do 7-hour fasting and only allowed to drink water until 9.  Totally no intake 2 hours before her surgery. We woke her up at 4 and let her last 200ml of milk before the surgery , she slept through till 9am and gave her last doze of water. And next is heaps of entertainment strategy to keep her busy. Calling God that she doesn't get hungry in the next few hours before the operation.  We did lots of singing that day, puzzles and play!

So here we are checked in at 11 but the surgery didn't start until midday.  This girl, she has no idea what she will have to go through. At almost 12, she is beginning to feel hungry and at 12.40, we were inside the operating theater and Dr. Lim put her to sleep.

My little girl after crying frantic in the recovery room. I gave her lots of cuddles and she calmed down. She is very groggy at this stage and she already had her first ice pops to keep the throat from drying up.

Here we are inside the ward and she still continues to ask for ice pops and egg surprise! She had two huge vomits after this as her reaction from anesthetics.  The nurses in Norwest Hospital are very helpful of a worried mum like me.  One nurse had to educate me on the preference of Panadol over Nurofen post surgery because it is blood thinning effect. I am glad we have chosen this hospital where we stayed for  a night but I didn't sleep at all. How can I? I was anxious she will cry out for pain and I can't look at her that way. I guess I was expecting the worse for her and thank God, He made our journey manageable.

The day after the surgery. She was very hungry, she was looking for rice and I gave her some corn flakes! Rice is not staple in Australia, unfortunately.  I told her to wait till we arrived home.

While her wounds are still swelling, her voice got distorted which is kinda funny to hear for a while. She is totally healed now. No sleep apnea, she still is a light sleeper but I think she is getting the sufficient number of hours of sleep now. More rested, healthier and better!


Here's a throwback pre-surgery and her singing career at home. Click the link!
Kylene@3 Sings Let It Go